Thursday, July 27, 2006

And then?

In a single moment of canine inspiration, she barked up the wrong tree.

Friday, July 21, 2006




And then in the chapel of bones we rolled the stones to see who dies, they came up snake's eyes I was the sacrifice such a cruel device...

Thursday, July 20, 2006

She sold her feelings for a steel coffee filter and some beans. Now they're writing the sequel to Faust Book, which will no doubt be made into a deplorable film soon enough.

(Actually by Boomsa, on whose behalf I have posted this, as work beckons her like a wanton wench.)

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

And Then?

The lamas started an online trading portal. They called it monk e-business.
And then the kitchen knives all hid in the tea mugs while the forks spooned and the spoons forked.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

And Then?

Francis went to talk to the birds and the flowers, and all the other monks teased him saying, "St. Francis is a sissy, St. Francis is a sissy, St. Francis is a sissy! Nya nya nya!"

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Unt Zen?

Herr Kapitan said to Herr, "Fraulein, vhy don't ve get Nazi und uber me strudel"

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

And Then?

Cat Steven's sang "Where have all the flowers gone?"
And they replied "To San Francisco, with the hippies."

This one is mine, not JPs. No really. Really.

And Then

the Colonel came to our rescue, pointing out that there was nothing wrong with cannibalism that some mustard and green chilies couldn't fix. We were all greatly comforted and went back to the slave pens to pick out a likely candidate for dinner.

I post this as a proxy for JP and wish to take no credit for this madness that need be ascribed to the man.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

And then?

"Not now, friend", she said. "My world is jumping off a tall building. I have vertigo, and he's too tall."

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

And then the Brontosaurus troops stomed our jusassic stronghold, only to stumble into a tar pit. They died in exotic, agonised poses, later to be puzzled over by future paleontologists over muffins and tea.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

And then?

The nymphomaniac confused with the nature of the rally taking place outside her building rushed out joyfully to join the shouts of "Vote for Congress!"

Friday, June 02, 2006

Frustrated with her attempts to turn her husband into her soulmate, the desperate housewife decided to squeeze one out of her loins...

Thursday, June 01, 2006

And then?

In a fit of theatrical rage, the three witches of Macbeth turned into three vultures. Now all they ever say is, "I dunno. Wha CHU wanna do??"

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

And then?

William Tell's son ate the halves of the apple and his name came to be known through the world as adam.

And then?

The mosquito said, "Fuck you, i'll make sure you have 5 nipples when you wake up!!"

And then?

She said, "ours is a dog eat dog world", and bit into his flesh. That was the day rap "music" sort of died. In a good way, of course.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

And THEN???

The palette fell crashing to the floor, and all the colours were confused. The highly offensive and disturbing song Lady in Red was originaly called Lady in Shades of Besmirched Red, Yellow and Doggy Doo. It was simplified for the benefit of its dull audience.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

And then we stood up as one and chanted: IN BOTTLE THERE IS NO BEER. IN LIFE THERE IS NO CHEER. WE TRUDGE THIS PASSAGE DREAR WITH NO LAGER OUR WAY TO STEER.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

As tax season rolls around, people begin to discuss the tedious nature of TDS