And Then

the little Roman kid forgot to study for his language exam and it looked Latin to him!

And then?

Rather uncharacteristically, he made doe eyes at me and said, "Quit playing games with my hart. The other deer are getting jealous."

And then the light at the end of the tunnel turned out to be a swarm of glow worms in the next tunnel. My hired mage threatened to cast a spell of internal liquefaction on me if I didn't find the treasure chamber soon. My hired swordsmen began gambling to see how they would divvy up my belongings after the mutiny they were clearly contemplating. It was all down to bad cartogpraphy, but I doubted they cared.

And then?

All the little people swore to listen to only Smokie's version of Living Next Door to Alice, because as it turns out, no one really wants to know who Alice is.

And then she screamed "Cathedral, cathedral!"

And then the weak inherited the world, and nothing changed at all. That was when we realised they'd always been in charge. We felt helpless and alone.

And then?

For 2 entire seconds there was no Oxygen at all, which caused the whole English speaking world to decide that 'x' was not required to be part of the Alphabet anymore. And no one ever had sex again.

And Then

the professor said, "You idiot! We were doing a Schrodinger experiment, not testing Heisenberg's principle! Now we don't know where the cat is!"

And then he turned to me and said, "wow! my second name is Mohamed too! Should we go to the mountain?"

And then?

After decades of facelifts and Botox, in the 83rd season of The Bold and the Beautiful, Sally Spectra finally declared that she was, indeed, Meatloaf.

And then a raging forest fire burned down the last habitat of the In­con­gru­ous Crawling Chimera. Three days later, it had wiped out seven varieties of conifer that secretly held the cures to cancer, AIDS, the common cold and Coldplay fandom in their bark. 7 days later the fire reached the Pacific ocean and sputtered to a halt. Rumours say it was started by Earth-2 Superman, but everyone blames everything on him.

Und Zen

zee vipers vere versened by zee konstant spflattering of leedle drophlets on zee vindskhreen of zee volkswagon.

...I grabbed the bomb from the Chihuahuaian Ambassador, ran down the promenade fighting off cannnibalistic Hussars with my cutlass, swung by the flagpole, dived off the dock edge and plunged into the bay, just in time to wet the powder and disable the bomb. When I emerged, dripping and drained from the murky waters, I found that the Ambassador and the Hussars had caught my trusty accomplice, Ted of the Three Thumbs and were roasting him on a spit while drinking red wine straight from the cask. I sighed, and plunged back in, to swim away to Far Atalan, where my piscean maiden of the sea waited for me, her gills weaving gently in the sun-soaked currents.

And then the ten dollar bill walked right towards the manager of the supermarket and said "I deserve a raise, I have sold myself too short here." The manager looked at him and said "I will put you in an old age home if you dont keep that filthy mouth of yours shut." Washington was hurt.

And then I tucked my shirt back in and re-adjusted my groinular bits, after having been subjected to the causal intimacies of frisking by the ubiquitous Delhi police. The lie in wait everywhere, at Metro stations, underground marketplaces and random mausoleums, hands all eager to cup anonymous boob and scrote. It is the most physical intimacy I have experienced in more than a year, and I find the experience obsurely comforting.

And then?

She looked him in the eye and said, "Among the instruments and people that you can play, you might be tempted to add me to your repertoire. But if I were you, I'd change my hands, my feet, my face and my resume, and become a janitor at the old age home."

Pierre loved big breasts. But only the natural variety. After an accident with a saline filled pair he swore off them. When confronted by falsies he is known to giggle. make a "phurrhhss" sound and exclaim "Sacre bleu, i have beeen sillee-conned"

And Then

the interstellar buses were loaded up and began their 8.5 light year trip to Sirius B. There was no dearth of hash, Jack Daniels and munchies. Unfortunately they would last longer than most of the passengers.

And then?

William Shakespeare finally admitted that with every sonnet he wrote, he normally died in the first half of the octet and came back to life in the second half of the sestet.

And then? (Valentine Special)

The resounding blast of Glen Madeiros’s deplorable attempt at a second hit love song resulted in a million pink and red balloons barfing on the floors of various scented venues. It was the day that no one could tell the cause from the cure, the puke from the Gelusil. In the mass delirium that resulted from this occurrence, people decided to name the entire hullabaloo over a Saint.